The Volunteer Force

Viva La Coconut!

Volunteering in any context, whether it’s mentoring young people, supporting a community initiative, serving in a church, or helping in a care setting, is both a privilege and a challenge. It places us alongside people in real need, facing personal struggles, uncertainty, and often slow, complex journeys of change. With 55% of adults in the UK volunteering at least once a year, and 34% volunteering monthly, there is a real need to understand how resilience works for the incredible volunteer force we have in this country.

And when it comes to resilience, we would do well to take a cue from the humble coconut tree. Found in stormy, windswept places, coconut trees bend dramatically but rarely break. They are flexible, rooted, and quietly fruitful, even in tough conditions. They might look like they are on holiday, but they are masters of endurance. As volunteers, we need the same kind of strength: not rigid, stoic grit, but a deep, adaptive resilience that helps us stand firm and stay kind, even when the work is hard.

While our heart is to bring hope, encouragement, and meaningful support, this work can stretch us. It can expose our limitations, test our motivations, and even leave us feeling disillusioned or emotionally tired.

Resilience, then, is not just something needed by those in need of support, it is something needed by the volunteers themselves. True resilience comes from understanding the difference between change and growth, learning how people heal and develop over the long term, and setting wise emotional boundaries. It also involves recognising that trust may be broken (and it will be), but it can also be rebuilt. And perhaps above all, resilience means holding on to hope for others and ourselves through small, measurable steps.

Understanding Change vs. Growth

In many volunteer roles, we can feel the pull to “make a difference”. To see people turn things around, make good choices, or move forward quickly. We might hope to see someone get a job, reconnect with their family, stop harmful habits, or re-engage with faith or community.

But change isn’t the same as growth.

Change can be external, short-term, and reactive.

Growth is internal. It’s often slow, deeply personal, and rooted in identity and mindset.

To put it another way: change is doing something different; growth is becoming someone different. Resilient volunteers learn to recognise and celebrate growth, not just outcomes. They don’t just notice if someone is attending regularly or ticking boxes, but whether they’re starting to believe they have value. Whether they’re becoming more honest. Whether they’re taking ownership of small, meaningful choices.

This kind of growth produces lasting fruit. It’s not always visible straight away, but if we learn to look for it and affirm it, we create environments where people feel empowered, not just helped.

Trust Is Broken, and Can Be Rebuilt!

In almost every volunteering context, we’ll come alongside people who have experienced broken trust. This can be through difficult relationships, institutional failures, or painful past experiences. As a result, they may be cautious, guarded, or inconsistent. Trust may be offered tentatively and withdrawn quickly. When this happens, it’s easy to feel hurt or discouraged. A person we’ve been supporting might suddenly cut contact. Or they might mislead us. Or seem to reject our help.

Resilience means understanding that trust is fragile, but rebuildable. It takes time,

consistency, and clarity. It asks us to keep showing up, even when we’re disappointed.

And it requires us not to write people off when they falter.

Importantly, rebuilding trust doesn’t mean enabling harmful behaviour.

It means holding steady boundaries while keeping an open heart. It’s saying “I care enough to be honest with you and I’m not giving up on you.”

Emotional Boundaries: Staying Compassionate, Staying Well

Burnout is a real risk in volunteering, especially when we care deeply. We can begin to carry emotional weight that isn’t ours, feel over-responsible for others’ progress, and lose sight of our own wellbeing.

But we’re not saviours. We are companions. Guides. Signposts.

And we need emotional boundaries to stay healthy and compassionate.

Healthy emotional boundaries help us to:

• Say no when we’re stretched.

• Recognise what’s ours to carry and what isn’t.

• Be fully present without becoming overwhelmed.

• Love well without losing ourselves.

Boundaries are not barriers. They’re structures that protect both people. When we model good

boundaries, we give permission for others to do the same which is something many have never

experienced. The clearer we are about what we can offer (and what we can’t), the more trustworthy and sustainable we become.

Hope in Small, Measurable Steps

Hope can be hard to hold onto for those we serve, and for ourselves. Especially when progress feels slow, or when people we care about seem stuck or discouraged. That’s why hope needs to be grounded in small, realistic, measurable steps.

One of the most powerful things we can do as volunteers is to help people:

• Identify one achievable next step.

• Take ownership of that step.

• Celebrate it when it happens.

That could be:

• Showing up to a session on time.

• Reaching out for help instead of withdrawing.

• Responding with honesty in a tough conversation.

• Making one positive financial decision.

• Choosing to try again after a setback.

Each of these is a seed of hope. And when we celebrate them, we help build momentum. We reinforce the belief that change is possible, that growth is happening, and that the future can look different from the past.

Walking With, Not Working On

Resilient volunteers remember: we walk with people, not on them.

The person you’re supporting is not a project to fix. They’re a human being who carries the utmost value, dignity, potential, and purpose. Growth can’t be forced. Trust can’t be demanded. But we can show up consistently. We can stay humble. We can keep believing in someone’s future even when they struggle to see it themselves.

For the Long Haul

If you’re a volunteer, don’t underestimate the power of your presence.

Not your performance. Not your perfect solutions.

Just your presence.

Be someone who stays. Someone who listens. Someone who notices and celebrates the little wins. And take care of your own heart so that you can keep serving from a place of strength, not depletion.

Because this kind of work isn’t just about helping others.

It’s about being shaped and transformed yourself.

And in the end, it’s not just those we serve who grow. We grow, too!

Reflection Questions for Volunteers:

• Where have I seen growth (not just change) in someone I support?

• How am I caring for myself emotionally in this work?

• Where might I need to re-establish trust with someone?

• What small steps can I help someone celebrate this week?

• Am I walking with people, or trying to fix them?

Let’s keep growing together in compassion, resilience, and hope.

And thanks for all you do!